Sunday, March 22, 2009

Down the rabbit hole.

Oh, hi.

If you've been wondering where I am, it's a neat little place called HELL. If you'd like to try it sometime, may I recommend the path we took: add one newborn baby to a household already bursting at the seams with the ego and toys of one 18-month old, stir, and voila. It's that easy. These seemingly innocuous ingredients combine like a high school chemistry experiment, resulting in complete and utter chaos. No sleep, tantrums, depression, brain death. And yes, that's just me.

I am so tired I could vomit, and right now both kids and I have a horrible cold. R. and I are each operating on 3 or 4 hours of sleep a night, none of it acquired in one stretch. The baby is fussy, and the toddler hates having him around. To show his displeasure, he has arrived at the "terrible twos" a few months early.

All this adds up to wondering why we subjected ourselves to this. Do I love them? Yes. They are pretty cute about half the day. The other half of the day is pretty rough, and when viewed through the lens of serious sleep deprivation it's even worse. I am seriously considering anti-depressants.