Friday, May 30, 2008

Mmm, pictures.

Reviewing my pictures from our trip, I see that there aren’t a lot of good ones. Most of the time I forgot I had a camera with me; we were having such a good time it just didn’t occur to me to photograph it.

So what do we have here.

Our first day in Paris, we were exhausted from a long day, night and next morning of travel (remind me next time to book a direct flight), so after depositing our bags at our hotel we ambled down to the river and hopped on board a tour boat for an hour’s ride up and down the Seine. R. was so tired that he actually fell asleep standing up; that was fun. Here’s a view of Notre Dame as we passed it by:

This was kind of cool: there’s a famous private residence in Paris called the Glass House, built by Pierre Chareau in 1931. We thought we would wander by to see it, not focusing on the fact that most apartments in Paris are entered into from a courtyard closed off from the street by an imposing, locked door. When we found the address, which was not much to see since it was just the aforementioned closed door, we were a little disappointed. All of a sudden, though, the door opened and a woman lugging a trash can appeared. We craned our necks to see behind her, and could just glimpse the house’s glass façade. She asked what we wanted, and we said we had just come to see the house. She told us nobody was home right now, but then for some reason swung the door open for us and let us into the courtyard. I think it would be much more impressive at night, all lit up from behind (see the link I posted), but nonetheless it was pretty cool to be able to see it:

Other than that, as I said before we pretty much just strolled and drank in Paris. Here’s a view from our perch at one café in the artsy sixth arrondissement:

And here’s some other random photos, such as the street I lived on when I was a kid and me pretending to be getting ready to have my head chopped off at the Conciergerie, the city prison where prisoners, including Marie Antoinette, were held temporarily before being taken for execution. Cheery!

I took even less pictures of London, if that’s possible. Here we have R. in a cab, a sunny day in Green Park, and our hotel room and view from its back window into the garden and the Sainsbury’s car park. Glamorous stuff.

In other news:

Since we’ve gotten back, I have found myself in the throes of yet another career crisis. You would think that since I have the same one every six months I would get off my ass and do something about it, but somehow I allow myself to remain paralyzed. The truth is, even though I don’t despise what I do for a living, and even have an aptitude for it, I know I would be happier doing something else. I’ve been working in the corporate world for 12 years and I have never, ever EVER cared about corporate stuff. Who’s merging with whom, bottom lines, money, money money. Well, I care about that last one, but only to the extent it’s mine.

When am I going to take the hint from myself that this isn’t satisfying work and not how I should be spending the most active years of my life? I am so tied up in the need for my sizeable paycheck that I can’t allow myself to dream about other careers because nothing pays as much. And honestly, I feel like I’m letting myself die inside every day that I allow myself to perpetuate this waste of myself. Surely there is something else I could be doing that wouldn’t feel like an endless ticking off of the hours until the times I can be doing things I like again. This all feels especially sharp since having the baby; it pains me to sit behind my desk all day doing something unsatisfying just to have the money to pay for the day care that keeps him for too many hours while I am at work.

The lament of many working women, I am sure; only a few are lucky enough to have found something that pays the bills and satisfies their souls. My mother is one of them; she genuinely loves being a lawyer, I think. Everything about being a litigator suited her perfectly, especially being able to completely immerse herself intellectually in the minutiae of a lawsuit. She’s who the whole career was made for. I, on the other hand, have tried a few areas of the law now (litigation, corporate and now commercial) and while each has had its interesting points, none has really satisfied me long term.

Why do I always feel like I am having a mid-life crisis? And here’s something sucky to think about – I’m 39 now, which means I actually AM having a mid-life crisis! It’s not even a joke anymore.

1 comment:

Lydia said...

Ugh. Please don't even get me started on the mid-life crisis of wondering if you are wasting your life at a particular job. I don't really know what's worse, not loving a steady job, or loving a freelance/unreliable one.
Loved the photos! And I'm glad to hear that you had such a great holiday.