Wednesday, December 19, 2007

Shoot, y'all.

There are a lot of things going on in the world right now, and one of them is that Jamie Lynn Spears is pregnant. At the ripe old age of 16. I guess that based on the precedent set by big sister Britney we shouldn’t really be too surprised, but for some reason I think the part of America that cares thought that Little Sis somehow had it a little more together than the freak show Older Sis. Apparently she plans to raise the little critter down in Louisiana, where “it can have a normal family life.” Uh huh. Here’s a question: if she is 16 and her baby daddy is 19, doesn’t that make him guilty of statutory rape? Last I checked it wasn’t a matter of pressing charges to determine a person’s guiltiness of that crime; after all, the girl in Georgia who had supposedly consensual oral sex with a teenaged Genarlow Wilson declined to press charges and yet he spent 2 years in jail for his “crime.” Oh wait, what’s that you say? Are you insinuating there might have been racial factors at play in that case? No, it couldn’t be, not in America!! No way!

Anyway, not that I truly give a crap, but it’s still pretty icky that this girl got knocked up at 16 and is having the baby. I suppose if you’re really wealthy and likely don’t have plans to try to attend college and make something out of your life, because you already have some popular show on Nickelodeon that will keep you in residuals and a tacky McMansion in BFE Louisiana for a few years, then why not just keep the baby and maybe even carry it around your hick town in a little bag like your sister does with her mini-dogs? It might even be fun to have someone who loves you even when everything else is getting you down, like your boyfriend telling you to stop stuffing your face with corn dogs or you’ll never lose the baby fat, or your tutor ragging on you to finish your geometry homework! And hey, in a way it will be more like having a little sister or brother, because not only will he be so close to your age, but you’re just going to leave him with your mom while you go out and party anyway, right!? Cool!

What else is going on? Christmas, of course. I tell you what; trying to deal with Christmas with a new baby in the house doesn’t work that well. Decorating the house, planning the menus, buying all the food, making goodies to have when our families get here and buying all the presents, all with a baby in tow, is HARD. Really hard. Especially when said baby is developing a nasty habit of waking up 5 or 6 times a night just to say hi, thus turning me into a zombie during the days. I can’t really recommend it, if you are thinking about it, unless having some ridiculously cute pictures of that baby is enough to make it all worthwhile for you. Or, you know, burying your nose in his fuzzy, No-More-Tears little head as often as you can.


David James said...

Evidently Britney did not tell her sister that Cheetos were not an effective form of birth control.

I was puzzled by the lack of outrage over the statutory rape issue as well. In Louisiana, where she lives, it's a misdemeanor for someone between 17-19 to have consensual sex with someone age 15-17 if the difference between their ages is more than 2 years.

In California, where she "works" and sometimes resides, it's a misdemeanor to have sex with someone younger than 18 if the offender is less than three years older and it's a felony if it's more than 3 years.

Unless, of course, you are an African American male living in the South, in which case it's evidently still a crime to stare at a white woman.

Pargolo said...

I loved this post, and the comments. So glad you are back and writing, and the paragraph about little eyore and christmas was just genius. I hope you have a wonderful christmas. One benefit of this blogging gig is I get to meet all these neat people I'd love to go get drinkies with in real life.

Sherry said...

Happy belated Christmas and HAPPY 2008 to the Architect Family!!

Hope you get some rest, Pretty Lady...